A topic was brought to my attention last week that I would like to talk about. It is about the time you spend talking to friends.
It may be days, weeks or months before I check up on someone because I'm always busy doing something, but I always check up on everyone. Last week, I pretty much was called a bad friend due to not checking up on someone enough. This got me thinking and examining all the relationships in my life and those I'm surrounded by.
You are not defined by how much or how often you talk to someone, about whether you are a bad friend. That isn't what makes you a bad friend. What makes you a bad friend is not being there for someone when they need you. You can be a good friend by not talking to someone for a while. Look at the relationship my dad has with his best friend. They can go months without talking and one day, one of them will pick up the phone and start talking, as if that time didn't pass.
Everyone has their own lives that they are living, just like I do. I can't be talking to someone constantly and neither can everyone else.
What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree or disagree?
Oh Boy! I read this when you first posted it, but I've been trying to think about what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. I completely agree with you. You get to a point in life where you're comfortable with just having your me time and reconnecting with friends when the opportunity presents itself. Two of my longest friendships came to messy ends this past winter which is fine because they were beginning to become toxic. They were very similar to your experience with your friend. I've always been a good listener and down for helping you out if you need it, but I will NOT be there for you and be you friend if you only want my friendship when it's convenient for you; you just using me. 99.9% of the time people calling you a bad friend are in fact that the one who is the "bad friend". And at the end of the day your life will be so much better and more fulfilled after cutting off toxic ties and moving onto better people and situations. Not worth the stress!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. I'm sorry they did, but at least that toxicness (I don't know if that is a word, but I have now made it one lol) isn't in your life anymore. I have had to do that with so many friends because they just became a chore of stress for me. The relationships were benefiting them more than it was me. As you are, I'm a great listener and I have no problem with listening and trying to help you with your problem or to be just an ear for you. But when it becomes just a job because that's all you need me for, that's when I'm done. I have very few friends because of this, but it doesn't bother me because they are good friends. Some I don't talk to, often because we are both always busy, but we do talk and update each other what has been going on. We don't have a problem with it. As before, you are absolutely correct.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear that you had to deal with that too; it seems fairly common, but what's not common is people cutting off those toxic relationships - unfortunately. You described it perfectly! I'm glad that you've found some good people, that are worth your time. Too often the best people get taken for granted.
DeleteNo need to be sorry. It happened and is behind me. You're right. People seem to keep those toxic relationships because it is what they are used to. Thank you! I know that feeling all too well.
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